Little heart, big love
by tamy-blue
Summary: AU from Season 4 of BTS./The Iniciative not only put a chip on Spike's brain, but they also achieved to make him a little five years old vamp-kid. Even when she didn't want to, Buffy will have to call Angel for help.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER** : "characters are not mine, they belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the W. B, UPN and FOX, blablabla. I'm only having a little fun with them. This story belongs to me, and which I have no commercial purpose".  
><strong>Author's babling<strong>: Please, english is my second or third language, so don't be too hard with me. I swear I'm trying my best.  
>Please, feedbacks are my drug. I need them to know if I should keep working on this, or just shut the f*ck up. So let hear your outraged screams! Thank you!<p>

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><p>He kept running. His legs were burning. He couldn't almost breath, but he still could hear them not too far, trying to catch him again.<br>'No, no, no', he almost whimpered inside his mind. He couldn't go back again _there_. There had to be someone who may help him.  
>A voice in his mind whispered 'Sire', but he didn't understand it. He didn't have time to that, though. The soldiers were getting close. He must find a place to hide. And then... A hand gripped his arm roughly, putting him in a halt. Within seconds, he was in the floor, a bunch of angry men surrounding him, calling him bad things, kicking him on his ribs. His cries of pain echoed in the night, and then he understood. He was truly alone in the world.<p>

'Eh, leave him alone!' He could hear a voice, in the distance, making its way through the fog of pain. From the ground, all looked strange. A blonde woman was fighting the soldiers. He tried to stand then and return to run, but he felt a hand in his shoulder, and he screamed out panicked.  
>'Hey, it's ok boy.' Someone helped him to his feet, and he lifted his eyes of the concrete, worrying his bottom lip.<p>

There was something about that new people that felt...familiar. Like he should know them, but didn't matter how he tried, he couldn't make their names out.  
>A smiling young woman, with beautiful long hair, knelt in front of him.<br>'Hi! I'm Dawn. What's your name?' He took a small step back of her. He didn't know who he could trust, not after what the soldiers had made to him... With wide eyes he looked at his back, having remembered his enemy just then. However, to his surprise, they weren't there. He looked warily around, but he couldn't see them, or smell them.

The blond woman did was there. She smiled at him, and something from his inside stirred. She smelled funny, powerful and hot. Then she got too close to him and a voice screamed in his blood 'Danger, danger, run away!'  
>He tried to obey, but the sweet girl was holding him in place with her hands on his shoulders.<br>'Hey, not be scared, she is the good one.' The girl tried to sooth him, sensing his turmoil. 'You see. She saved you of that bad guys. She's my sister and her name is Buffy. She is the...'  
>'Slayer', he growled before he was overwhelmed by his fear and vampet out startling the Scoobie Gang.<p>

Buffy stared at the Little vampire-kid growling at her. There was only someone who could make that single Word sound like the worst insult.

'¿Spike?'

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><p>So... I know this was really short, but...what do you think, should I continue with this? Thank you very much, I'll be waiting!<p> 


	2. 2 Little Experiment

Giles polished his glasses for the thousandth time in less than an hour. Maybe if he kept doing it enough time, the answer that he was looking for would appear in front of his tired eyes, like the genie in the lamp.

'I'm telling you, he's lying' Buffy repeated frustrated.'He just recognized me, he called me Slayer. It's a trick, Giles'.  
>The Watcher put his glasses on again, and look at the other side of his living room. There, sitting in a lovechair was who they thought was Spike. However, this vampire was... smaller. Indeed, he looks like a little five years old kid, only he had fangs and a bad temper. They had been able to discover it.<p>

'I don't know, Buffy'. Giles refrained himself from the impulse to polish his glasses _again_.  
>'Buffy, he's not faking it!' Dawn tried to make his sister listen to her. She crouched down to Spike's level. She was the only one he had allowed near him, since they arrived at Gile's house. Well, she and Tara. 'He's scared and he's hurt. You saw what those soldiers were doing to him.' Dawn looked up to her sister for a second, then she ruffled Spike's blond curls. 'You just don't remember us, do you?'<p>

Spike shook his head silently. It's wasn't totally true, but he wasn't lying to her either. He knew they weren't absolutely strangers to him, but he couldn't remember them. They all were like pictures in his head. Everything was mixed up. Names, dates, feelings, memories. It made his head hurt.

'But he knew I was the Slayer!'  
>'Well...he is...he's a vampire' That was Tara's shy voice, breaking Buffy's new outburst. Everybody looked at her and she blushed. 'I mean, maybe it's something...instinct?'<p>

Giles mused about it and then nodded thoughtfully. The young girl could be right.  
>'Well, I have to agree with Tara.' He smiled at the sensitive witch. 'You're the Slayer, and he's still a vampire. It makes senses that he could feel your power, or smelled it... A vampire need to be able to sense his biggest enemy.'<br>Buffy crossed her arms over her chest, but looking at the blond little vamp she had to agree too. Spike was looking at them with wide blue eyes, sitting in silent. In fact, he hadn't said a word, since he acknowledged her as the Slayer.

Ok, that was new, and a bit scary. Spike was never silent, not even while he fought. Something was wrong with the vampire. He was looking scared, for some reason. He looked lost and afraid. Surrounded by all of them, with his dirty clothes and his tousled hair, he looked helpless.

She sighed and walked slowly to him. Spike observed her all the time, tense and wary, like he was ready to flee or attack.  
>'Spike?' She tried not startled him. 'Are you ok? Are you hungry?'<p>

Spike didn't respond at first. He didn't know if he was supposed to do it, or if everything was just another trick. Back... back_ there_, a mean woman with a white coat had made him that same question, and every time he had answered it, there had been pain.  
>However, this blond girl had been nice with him. Everybody had been, or at least, they hadn't been bad. And she had saved him from the soldiers. Maybe he could answer her this time.<br>He opened his mouth, but he didn't have the chance to make a word.

An urgent knock on the door made everyone jump. Giles rushed to look through the peephole and then opened the door.  
>'Riley, what are you doing...?' His question was interrupted by the boy, who came into the room calling for Buffy.<br>Standing up, the girl seemed as surprised as the rest of her friends. 'Riley, what's wrong?' He looked really upset, and she started to worry.  
>'That what's wrong!' Riley pointed at Spike with his finger. 'What are you doing here!'<p>

'Hey, don't yell at him!' Dawn couldn't help it, she had to say something. At her side on the sofa, Spike made a little sound, like a scared whimper. She wrapped her arm around his shaking shoulders.  
>'Hush Spike, everything is fine' She said soothingly. Nevertheless, he shook his head again.<br>'Soldier' He whispered without taking his eyes off Riley.  
>'Soldier... Wait, you know him?' Giles was annoyed by Riley's behavior. What did that kid think he was?<p>

'NO! Of course no!' Riley didn't let Spike say anything else.  
>'But you were looking for him.' Xander didn't like the way Riley was looking at Spike. Like he wanted to kill him right there. Sure, the vampire was a demon, a murder, but... it didn't seem right. Not when he was no more than a little kid trembling in Dawnie's embrace.<p>

'I was looking for Buffy. I was gonna to alert her that a dangerous demon had escaped from The Iniciative.'  
>An awkward silent fell over the room. Everybody was thinking exactly the same. Spike, dangerous? Well, he had still his fangs but the idea of him killing someone looked absurd.<br>'Wait a minute. What was doing Spike at the Iniciative?' Again, Giles's question made Riley stutter.  
>'Well...he was...we were...'<br>'Riley?' Buffy didn't look worried anymore. She knew he was hiding something, and a voice in her head was telling her that she wasn't going to like it.

'We were doing our job.' He said petulantly.' And I don't have time for this. I must take him back.'  
>At his words, Spike reacted. He jumped from his place on the sofa, yellow eyes and fangs ready. However, two seconds later, he was crying out of pain in the floor, clutching his head.<br>'Spike!' Dawn and Tara run by his side. The blond witch gathered him in her arms and standing up, she made her way to the sofa again.  
>'What's wrong with him?' Xander asked to Giles, who could only shrug. He had no idea.<p>

'Serves him right' Riley murmured, but Buffy could hear him.  
>'What do you mean?' He tried to play fool, but anyone in the house was buying it, so he gave up.<br>'Ok. He has a chip in his brain.' He explained. 'Our scientists did it, and now, every time he tries to hurt someone, or if he even thinks about it...well...you just have seen what happens.'  
>Dawn gasped in horror. Spike was still crying, his tears soaking into Tara's blouse.<br>'What about his age?' Willow asked. She was standing behind the sofa, one hand squeezing her girlfriend's shoulder. When Riley nodded, she had to ask. 'But, why, and how?'

'Sorry Willow, but I can't tell you.' He looked back at Buffy and Giles. 'I _won't_ tell you'.  
>Giles was furious and shocked. He didn't want to think about Spike's torment by the Iniciative's scientists. He couldn't help imaging this little kid, terrified, being prodded and sliced...<br>'Come on, I don't have time for this. I really have to take him back'  
>'No! Buffy, he can't...' Dawn pleaded with her sister. 'Those soldiers were hurting him. And he didn't fight back...he couldn't! Please, Buffy...'<p>

Buffy look at her sister, at Tara who was still trying to calm down Spike, and then at Riley. Everybody was staring at her, waiting for her to decide.  
>She closed her eyes, trying to think. Spike was a vampire, and they both had fought enough times to know each other's weakness and talents. She knew that if he could, he would kill her without a doubt.<br>A soft sob put her out of her thoughts. She looked down at Tara and the trembling bundle in her arms. And then, Buffy knew exactly what she had to do.

TBC?


	3. 3 Nightmares and needs

**Notes: **Ohhhh thank you, thank you very much for your comments! I'm so happy! Usually, I'm unsure about my english, but I guees it isn't so bad, because anyone has complained... yet. Anyway, thanks everyone, you're the best! This is my first long fic, so... it's special. This weekend, I will try to work harder, so maybe I could update twice in a day (I should be studying, tomorrow I have an exam but seriously...I can't stop to write!) Kisses!

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><p>The soft breeze of the night caressed his skin with its cold fingers. For a moment, he had thought that Buffy would understand it. That she would understand what he was trying to do. That she would help him in his mission. However, at the end, the devil had won. Sniffing pathetically, he had put everyone against him, and there he was. Kicked out of the Watcher's house, in the middle of the night.<p>

He couldn't believe it. He was beyond fury. He felt his blood boiling in his veins. That stupid, stupid girl. How could she do that to him? He felt like an idiot.

And, how was gonna he explain this failure to his superior? Riley felt like screaming in rage. And it was Spike's fault. That little waste of space! However, he wasn't going to leave things like this. He was going to take the vampire back, and anyone would stand in his way.

Because Rile knew he was right, and the Slayer and her stupid friends weren't. He couldn't understand Buffy. Nevertheless, he also could understand Giles even less. That man had seen terrible things, he had studied Spike's crimes. How he and his evil 'family' massacred Europe in the past, just for pleasure.  
>And there he was, in his living room, glaring him with mistrust in his blue eyes, taking Spike's side. And, why? Only because they thought the vampire looked cute. Cute! Was everyone crazy or what? How couldn't they see the lie, his charade? Sure, he looked like an angel, with his his golden curls, his blue eyes and that adorable pout on lips. But Riley knew better than that; he could see the demon, the monster behind that angelical face. And it was his mission to make the world a safer place, to save the humanity of these creatures.<br>Yes, he would take him back to the Iniciative. Even if he had to fight against Buffy to achieve it.

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><p>'He's so cute!' Joyce sighed, brushing a few stray hairs back from Spike's face. He was sleeping in the sofa, a soft cushion under his head and a warm blanket on his small body. The kid was exhausted after so many emotions in a day.<br>A cup of hot blood and a bath had been sufficient to leave him out for the count. Now, the three Summers girls were in their living room looking down to his little guest with a fond smile in their faces.

'Poor kid, he barely had said a word since he was here. And I saw the bruises in his side. They looked awful. Who could do such a thing to a little boy?' Joyce's voice was tinged with anger, while her fingers brushed tenderly Spike's pale cheek.

'Do you think he will be fine?' Dawn whispered to his mom, a little worried. 'What if he wakes up, wouldn't he be scared then?'  
>'I don't think he's gonna wake up soon, Dawn.' Buffy tried to assure her sister.' Look at him, he's in a deep slumber. Don't worry.'<p>

Joyce nodded her agreement, and after kissing Spike's forehead, she stood up and in silent, they made it to their rooms.

_Pain. Laughter. White. White. Something cold and sharp against his skin. More pain. Cries. He wants to fight, but his arms are tied. Also his feet. He can't move. A shadow. Two shadows hovering over him. A song? Someone is singing...chanting something. And his head hurts. Hurt. Hurt. Hurt. Stop, please stop. Who is doing this to him. Why? Laughter. Screams. Someone is screaming... after a while, he understands it's his own voice. Stop. Stop. Please. White. White. The pain is white. White. He feels like exploding. And the shadows don't stop, not matter how hard he fights, how hard he begs. And there is no one to help him. And he cries._

Spike opened his eyes at the feeling of someone shaking him. Without thinking, he vamped out and try to fight back his assailant. And then he felt his head splitting in two. He cried out, and his body convulsed in shock. He felt like dying. He wanted to die. Everything, anything to stop that pain.

After an eternity, he became more aware of his surrounding. He understood someone was holding him in a sweet embrace. Opening slightly his eyes, he could see it was Joyce, the Slayer's mommy. She was rocking back and forth, mumbling nonsense to him in a tone that was meant to be soothing.  
>Spike whimpered, resting his cheek on Joyce's chest, where he could feel her heartbeat. It seemed to relax him.<p>

'There, there, precious, everything is fine.' Joyce was saying. It was early in the morning, and she had been sleeping when she'd heard the little vamp screaming, absolutely terrified. Once she was in the room, she could see the poor boy was trashing and crying, in the grip of a nightmare. She had tried to wake him up, but he had reacted then in fear, and his chip had fired.

Finally, Spike's tears subsided, and he could move again without crying out in agony. Joyce was still holding him, and he liked it. Although... it wasn't enough. There was a need inside him, he felt like if something was missing. A little voice in his mind kept whispering _Sire,__Sire,__Sire_. But, what did that mean? He couldn't remember what a Sire was. It was a name, a place. Maybe it was some kind of food? It was so frustrating! He felt like crying again. He wanted Sire. Even so, how could he ask for something he didn't even know what it was? They would look at him like he was crazy. Maybe they would leave that soldier take him back.

Joyce pulled Spike away of her chest, and wiped his tears with her fingers. The kid looked troubled. She smiled at him, but he didn't smile back. There was something in his eyes, a dark shadow of pain.  
>'Spike, what's wrong honey?' She waited, still rocking a little. There were footsteps on the stairs, and minutes later, Buffy was with them.<br>'Mom, what happened?' She crouched down, running her hand through Spike's hair.  
>'I think he had a nightmare. But something is off.' Joyce answered her daughter.<p>

She tried again to make the vampire talk. 'Spike, it's ok. You can tell us. If you don't tell us what's wrong, we couldn't' help you.'  
>'Spike, is there anything you want?' Buffy intervened.<br>Sire. Sire. Sire. Sire. He wanted Sire. His blood was singing in his veins. He needed it, so bad it hurt. Sire. Sire. Sire. Sire.  
>He looked up to Buffy, and then to Joyce. They seemed sincere, worried about him. And he was tired, and scared. So, taking a deep breath, he gave in, and he said the words.<br>'I wanna my Sire'

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><p>I promise... tomorrow Angel will make an entrance. Someone is gonna know a Sire's wrath. Believe me. Just have a little patience, please.<p> 


	4. 4 A Sire's rage

THANK YOU! Thanks everyone, you're awesome! I couldn't have dreamed about this! kisses!

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><p>Cordelia sighed, hanging up the phone. She didn't to be the messenger, not when it was about Buffy and Angel. Even so, she knocked on the office's door with a firm hand, and came in with her best efficient secretary's smile.<p>

'Angel, Buffy has called. Again' It was the fourth time the Slayer had called in two days. 'She said that is important.' Angel didn't even look up from the book that he was reading. He didn't want to know anything about Sunnydale, or Buffy.  
>Saying goodbye to her had been one of the hardest things that he had ever done, and he didn't want to have to do it again. They both needed to move on. He needed to continue with his life. His un-life. Whatever.<p>

"I'm not interested" That wasn't true, but he had to be strong. Buffy was a powerful temptation, a beautiful dream of sun and vanilla kisses. They had to keep the distance. Deep down, they both knew it was the best.

'But..." The shrill timbre of the telephone interrupted Cordy. "This is absurd!' The girl snorted before answering it angrily.

"Angel, it is for you..." The surprise in her voice made him looked up at her curious. Without giving Angel time to ask who was it, she handed him the receiver as if it was burning her.

'Hello?'  
>'Angel!' An angry voice of women spoke away. 'Could you explain me what is wrong with you? This is not a way to act...'<br>'Jo... Joyce?' Angel was puzzled. It was the last person he could expect.

'Yes, it's me. Angel, I'm disappointed. I never thought that you'd avoid your responsibilities. You should be here by now, taking care of...'  
>'Joyce, trust me, this is the best for everyone.' Once he got over the surprise, Angel tried to be reasonably.' I'm doing this for her too, it is the best for Buffy.' He repeated.<br>'Buffy?' Joyce didn't understand anything. 'Angel, Buffy is fine. But, you have to come here right now!'  
>'Joyce, what's wrong? What happens?' Angel felt a sudden feeling of panic.<br>'He is really scared, Angel. He barely eats or sleeps.' The concern and love in her voice were evident.' He doesn't do anything more than ask about you.'

'He...? Joyce, I don't have idea what are you talking! Who is he?'  
>'Spike, Angel. I'm talking about Spike.'<p>

A word. An only word had been enough to make him jump off the chair and head for Sunnydale. Driving through the night, Angel marveled - in a dark and evil way- of the power that word exerted on him. Five letters. Only that had been enough to make his world upside down.

Taking sight of the _Welcome__ to Sunnydale _sign, Angel pressed the gas harder, leaving behind him a dense cloud of dust.

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><p>'Hey Spike, do you want to watch the cartoons with me?' Dawn tried again, but the small vampire merely shook his head in refuse. Dawn, and the rest of the Scoobies sighed.<br>Spike had been all day sitting on the stairs, just in front of the main door. Every time someone had rung the bell, the kid had stood up, with the hope that this time, it would be his Sire. At the time it's was nine o'clock in the evening, and Spike was still waiting. It was breakhearting.

Tara went to sit next to him, and stroked his soft blond hair.  
>'Don't worry honey. I'm sure he will be here soon.' Her words made the boy smiled at her, but it didn't reach his blue eyes. 'Listen, while we wait. Do you want me to show you something cool?' Spike tilted his head a little, and then nodded insecure. 'Good!' Exclaimed the witch cheerily. 'Look at this!' Tara snapped her fingers, and suddenly a dozen soap bubbles appeared before them. Spike looked at her in wonder.<p>

'Wanna try it?' She asked, and it had to be the right words, because in a little while the house was filled with Spike happy's laugh. There were bubbles everywhere, and he played to chasing them.

The light made the bubbles glow with iridescent hues, and they almost seemed to be made of glass. They were pretty, but they couldn't be compared with Spike's beautiful eyes. They were shinning with happiness, and they looked like the sea under the sun.

Suddenly, the lights into the house went out. Before someone would be able to react, a group of soldiers burst into the house shouting, theirs arms ready to fire.

In the dark, Buffy tried to fight them, with Xander, Willow and Giles's help. But the soldiers did not seem to be very interested in them. On the other hand, Tara, with a scared Spike in her arms, was surrounded by five of the masked men.  
>'Give the vampire to us, girl.' A soldier said, taking a step toward them.<br>'Noo!' Tara shouted in anger. She took a deep breath, holding the little boy closer to her. 'Explosío'. The witch yelled, and all the bubbles that were still floating all over the place, shattered.

The small distraction served her to doged around the soldier and bolted for the door, but it was not enough. Gripping her by the arm, one of the soldiers tore Spike of her embrace. She couldn't do anything when her assailant got out of the Summers's house with their loved boy.

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><p>Angel was almost by the Slayer's house, when he saw a man's shadow running out of the door. He had a child in his arms. The boy was trying to escape, yelling and kicking his little legs. Finally, the kid could slip out of the soldier's grasp and started to run in Angel's direction.<p>

The vampire got out from the car in time to see how the man backhanded the child across the face, knocking him down. Angel felt how the rage took possession of him. Something inside him said that it was his duty to protect that child. Ángelus was raging behind the bars of his cage, roaring _Mine!_  
>The stranger forced the boy into his feet again pulling hard his hair. The little boy let escape a keening sound, and Angel lost it.<p>

'Shit' was all Riley managed to think before he was punched in the gut, and all the air got stolen out of his lungs. Riley tried to duck him, but he wasn't fast enough and Angel's fist slammed into his jaw.  
>Spike watched, wide-eyed, as the dark haired newcomer and the soldier rolled on the ground. He was pretty sure the new stranger was a vampire too, like himself. There was something about him that fascinated Spike. It's was like something, or someone, was singing inside his blood, reverberating into his bones. A wistful <em>Sire?<em> came out of is mouth, and at the sound of his voice, the fight stopped.  
>Angel, a hand wrapped around Riley's throat, looked up at the boy a few feets away of him. At first, he couldn't think. Then, he smelled it. That kid, that kid was a vampire, and not any vampire. He was Spike, <em>his<em> Childe. He couldn't understand how that was possible, but his senses weren't lying.  
>Angel looked down again at the pathetic man under him. Tightening his grip around his neck, the vampire slammed him against the concrete.<p>

'What did you do?' The vampire, in full game face, hissed leaning closer. Riley found himself staring up into Angel's golden eyes. He tried to pry the hand off his neck, but without success.

Angel wanted to kill him. Slowly. His demon was screaming, growling, claiming for revenge. And he agreed. From where he was, he could feel his Childe fear, his suffering. It was maddening; Angelus was shrieking with joy, every protective instinct had been roused. And now that human was going to pay for his Childe's pain.

Suddenly, the vampire felt a hot explosion of pain in his side, and with a groan, he let his prey go.  
>Riley was tempted to use his teaser again, but would't dare to risk his freedom, and his life. So he just called out for his team, and run into the night without looking back.<p>

'Spike!' 'Angel!'  
>Buffy, Dawn and the rest were already out of the house, and were running toward them. Angel stood up grunting, with Buffy and Gile's help. Looking around him, he found Spike in Dawn's embrace but with his eyes fixed on him.<br>'Is everybody fine?' Joyce asked still by the house's door. They weren't seriously injured, and a sigh of relief could be heard.  
>Angel kneeled in front of Dawn and Spike. The girl pulled the little boy away of her tenderly.<br>'Spike?' Angel tried to talk softly, and hold out a hand. 'Come Spike, come with me Childe.'

Spike took a first hesitant step, and then run to his arms, hugging him, holding on as if Angel was a lifeline.  
>Angel pulled his Childe next to himself, and a soothing purr started in his chest.<br>'Ssh, ssh I'm here, it's all right'. The vampire cupped the back of Spike's head, stroking his curls. His Childe just started to cry harder, and gripped onto Angel's arms, afraid of letting go.  
>'It's ok Spike, William.' Angel mumbled calming words into the kid's ear. The little vamp was sobbing hysterically. Angel lifted him from the floor and cradled him in his arms.<br>'I've got you. Calm down Precious, it's all right.' He kept trying to calm his Childe as they weaved their way toward the house.

The lights were working again, and the renewed clarity showed the traces of the fight. Carefully, Angel sat on the couch with his precious bundle. Spike's tears had subsided somewhat and Angel lifted his chin, tilting the blond's head a little to check the damage. Spike's right cheek looked bruised and slightly swollen. Angel had to make a hard effort not to vamp out in fury. Still purring, he wiped Spike's last tears. God, but his boy was beautiful. And so small, vulnerable.  
>'Sire?' Spike's small voice attracted his attention. 'Sire, can I stay with ya now?' Angel reached out to trace the hurt cheekbone.<br>'Of course you can Will, my Childe.', He answered smiling fondly. Spike beamed at him, and snuggled back into his chest, sighing peacefully.

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><p>There you go...how was it? I hope you liked it! Next chapter there will be more cute moments between Angel and Spike. ^^<p> 


	5. Little tears

Sorry it took me so long, but Real Life is a bitch sometimes and I haven't had time to write. I hope you're still interested in the story. I warn you, this is the silliest chapter in the world, I swear, but it's how my muse wanted it.

And, I know my english sucks, but I promise I'm working hard to be better. Anyway, if someone want to point out my mistakes, I would be grateful. Although, I would give my first born to who wanted to be my beta...¬¬ *hands out bribey- chocolate- cookies..* hehehee

Kisses and thanks everybody for yours comments!

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><p>Angel ran his fingers through the tousled hair. Spike was sleeping in the passenger seat, with his little blond head on Angel's lap. His soft and warm breath against his leg.<p>

Without looking away of the road, Angel tried to find some kind of sign, or a scar, anything. He wanted to touch with his fingers the mark of the abomination that those scientists had done with his childe.  
>True, Spike was a vampire. He had been Europe's nightmare, the terror of the world, covering his way with blood and death. He was like a blond Atila's horse, galloping through a dark eternity. Angel knew that, he had been there.<br>However, it would have been fairer, more righteous, that someone would stop Spike with a stake.

The idea made him flinch, and he buried his fingers a little more in the soft locks, but still, he kept thinking that it would have been better. More human. However, to put a chip in Spike's head, that was cruel.

Those scientists didn't understand it. They liked to play God, and forced a vampire to suffer day after day the hunger, the thirst. To listen to his demon howling for blood every second of the day, and not be able to do anything about it. Without a soul to justify the suffering.

God, it was like to punish a leon to hunt a zebra. Angel knew it. He knew the feeling. His soul had not removed his liking for blood, for the thrill of the hunt. Although he used to fuel that image, it was not true. He was still a vampire, a killer. Sometimes, it was hard enough to make him want to scream.

A part of himself was grateful that Spike would have become a five years old kid. The instinct for the kill seemed to be barely present in the little vamp. Even so, another part of him was angry and terrified.  
>Ángel looked for a moment at his childe, who was asleep, relaxed, using his thigh as a pillow. The midnight's light made Spike's skin looked like it was made of silver and silk.<p>

He was so beautiful, with his long and dark eyelashes and his pink little lips. What they thought to do with a five years old vampire - at least in appearance- defenseless against the humans?

Angel shuddered, imagining possible answers and scenarios. He didn't know how, but he was going to discover their intentions. And he was gonna make them pay for his childe's pain. He swore it.

/

When Angel entered to the Hyperion with a sleepy Spike holding his hand, he almost had a heart attack. Or he could have it, if his heart had beaten. Cordy, Connor, Wesley and Gunn were in the middle of the hall, in clearly position to attack. Fred was beside Gunn, with a cross in her hand.  
>There was a tense silence, while Angel was trying to find the words again. He felt how Spike clung tightly to his bigger hand, seeking protection.<p>

'- Hmm...This is Spike?' Asked Gunn, putting down his sword.' I don't know why, but I imagined him taller'.

Angel snorted, and in some way, that served to enlighten the moment. Everybody, even Connor, left down his arms.  
>'Angel, what does this mean?' Cordelia took a few steps toward them, but stopped when Spike whined fearful and took two steps back.<p>

'Sssh, it's ok William' Angel took the little boy in his arms and smiled. 'Spike, they're my friends. They're not gonna hurt you, promise.'  
>Spike nodded but still he hid his face in his Sire's chest. He trusted Angel, but all that people were looking at him like he was a freak. Like he was bad, dangerous, and he didn't like it.<br>He was tired, he wanted to sleep. He wanted to sleep with his Sire and didn't feel scared anymore. He yawned and snuggled back into Angel's chest. A rich purr started in the other vampire's throat and Spike closed his eyes.

'I think I'm gonna put him on bed, and then I'll explain you everything.' Angel whispered making his way up the stairs.

'Well, this was not what I expected' Said Connor sitting on the sofa. Everybody nodded and followed his action with a sigh. The night was going to be very long.

/

Spike was in his Sire's bed, with a t-shirt of that young man... Angel has named him Connor. He hugged tighter his stuffed bear; it had been a present of Dawn. She said he would feel better anytime he hugs it. However, it wasn't working so well, because his Sire was leaving him. He tried to stop him but Angel only shook his head and kissed him on the forehead.

'It's time to sleep, ok?' Spike shook his blond head, refusing to accept it. Angel just sighed, again. 'Listen to me, sport. You need to rest, so you can heal. And I'm just downstairs. If you need something, I'll be right here, in a second.'  
>'Promise?' The little kid didn't want to be alone, but he didn't want to make Angel angry either. He wasn't sure why, but a voice inside him whispered that he wouldn't want to suffer that kind of pain, never again. He didn't understand it, but he decided he didn't want to. Not really.<br>Angel nodded and smile a little before saying goodbye and leaving the room.

A second later, Spike was feeling miserable. He was alone in that big bed, and he felt lost. He kept repeating to himself, like a mantra, that his Sire was downstairs. Downstairs, downstairs, downstairs. However, that strange people were too there. And they didn't like him, he could feel it. Suddenly, a thought made him shiver. What if those persons convinced his Sire to leave him? 'No, nonononono. NO!' Spike whimpered, clutching at the sheets. He couldn't help it; the tears started to fall down his face. He sniffled and discovered that the sheets smelled like Angel. That made him relaxed a little. Finally, exhausted and surrounded by his Sire's odor, Spike felt asleep.

_White.__Laughs.__Screams,__a__ voice __chanting. __A__ painful __explosion__ inside __his __head. __Laughter. __They __were __there __again,__that __two__ shadows.__But __this__ time, __Spike __wasn't __scared. __Because __he __wasn't __alone, __his __Sire __was __with __him. __Only... __he __wasn't. __Spike __looked __around,__trying __to __find __him __and __finally,__ very __far,he __discovered __his __Sire. __He __got __his __back __at __Spike, __and __despite __the __little __vamp's tries, __he__ refused __to __look __at __him. __Spike __cried, __screamed,__ begged. __But __Angel __didn't __listen __to __him,__and __he __started __to__walk __away, __again. __Like __that __time, __long __ago, __when__ he __wasn't __little __but __still __as __afraid.__ NO, NO, NOOOOOOOO!_

Spike woke up with a start, crying and shaking. And he was alone. Alone in that bed, in that room. He was sure his Sire has left him behind again with all these humans.  
>Still crying he ran through the door and downstairs, calling for his Sire.<br>Everybody in the room was surprised when the kid appeared, wearing a t-shirt like five sizes bigger than his, crying. Angel got up of the sofa and put him in a sweet embrace.  
>'Hey, hey, Spike' He tried to calm down his childe, but the little kid wasn't listening. He only nuzzled into Angel's neck and kept crying.<p>

'Ohh, poor thing' Cordy cooed. 'I'm sure he has had a nightmare, Angel.'  
>'You think?' Asked the vampire sarcastically. He tried to hushed Spike, but to no avail.' William, hush childe. Come on, why don't you tell me what's wrong?'Angel used his softest voice. Spike hiccupped a few times before he could talk.<br>'Ya...you...left...me...' He said between sobs.  
>'No baby, no. You had a bad dream. I'm right here' Angel kissed his tousled hair.<br>'No, no now' Spike insisted. 'Then...before...'

Angel looked puzzled for a moment. His childe wasn't making any sense.  
>'William, my boy, I've been here all the time.' He wiped Spike's tears.<br>'You left us... you left me behind.' The kid repeated.' I looked for you. I opened every door, I sliced every throat and I...I couldn't find you!' Spike sounded suddenly angry. Angel and his friends stared at the little vamp shocked. Was Spike talking about his past?  
>'What have you just say Willia...?' Angel started but Spike's bottom lip begun to tremble and the boy burst into tears, again.<p>

'You just left...ya didn't want me anymore!' Spike's whines were made of pure sadness. Angel found hard to swallow through the lump in his throat. He didn't think about the effects his leaving could had on his family, on his childe. Listening to Spike's sobs was unbearable.  
>'No, no William. Sshh, just calm down baby.' Angel stroked his hair, while Spike wrapped his arms around the vampire's neck. 'Please, Will, listen to me. I'm sorry boy, ssshh'<br>Angel looked up to his friends and his son, asking for help but everyone was at a lost.

At the end, Spike fell asleep in his Sire's arms, spent. Angel didn't want to let go of him, he couldn't. He had the need to be with his little childe forever. How could he leave him without a word, without...nothing? All these years, thinking that his Sire didn't want him, didn't love him anymore. His poor William.  
>'Dad' Connor's whisper pulled him out of his thoughts.' Everybody has left. I think we should go to bed too.'<br>Angel nodded, and reached out with a hand to squeeze his son's arm. Carefully, he stood up with Spike breathing softly against his neck.

'Night Dad.' Called Connor from the other side of the hallway.  
>'Good night son' Angel asked before closing his door behind him. Spike shifted a little in his embrace, and the vampire put his childe on the bed again. Taking out his clothes, he lay beside his little boy, wrapping an arm around the kid waist.<br>'Sire' Spike mumbled, opening slightly his beautiful blue eyes. They were a little puffed, and Angel just hummed, afraid of another outburst. 'I'm sorry'  
>Angel pulled Spike nearer to him, kissing his head like an answer.<br>'Sire' Spike's voice sounded very small.' I'll be very good, promise. And then you would stay, with me, forever. Right, Sire?' And there was so much hope in these words, they were so full of pain, that Angel couldn't say anything at first. He hugged Spike, a long time, and when he finally could answer a broken 'Yeah William, forever' he could feel tears down his own cheeks.


	6. Authoress's notes

Hello! First, I would like to apologise for this long absence. My life has been a mess these last months, but it seens that everything has returned to normal now.

Then, I also want to thank you all for your support, your awesome reviews and comments. I must say that you are the reason why I've decided to resume this work.

And, I want to especially thank Little Karma, who is crazy and has offered me her help as my new (and beautiful) beta. So, I promise I will post this weekend a new chapter (a long long chapter).

Thank you and again, sorry!


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